Sainsbury’s Deliver Some Eighty Bananas Unto Us

It’s indicative of how narrow my life has become that the highlight of my week is when Sainsbury’s, for a reason unbeknowest to this author, deliver two bags full of bananas with our usual shopping. Without charge. The delivery man looks at them askance, then I sign his form and he goes away.

‘Jess, where did all these bananas come from?’ H collapses against the door with laughter.
‘ I checked the receipt three times and couldn’t find any record of them,’ I protest.
It must be a gift, like the week of strange cheeses and lamb neck fillets, which are still in the freezer. I loathe lamb, but because of our parsimonious upbringing I can’t bring myself to throw it out.

At first the novelty is wonderful, because I love green bananas, but then they start to go brown. I refuse to eat ripe – let alone overripe – bananas, so H and our flatmate are left to fight the war against them. They lose, and now our house has become infused with a rank, tropical scent. So for those of you who care to see us over the next few weeks, be warned that you shall be plied with baked banana-borne bounty.

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4 Responses to “Sainsbury’s Deliver Some Eighty Bananas Unto Us”

  1. what do you mean you loathe lamb? I have cooked it for you at least three times and you made all the right noises. Is this an entire family thing or just you and your dad? Is H also silently retching every time I cook him a roast?

    Gah. I am in a state of cooking paranoia.

  2. Ahem, some clarification is in order. Your lambs are carefully tended to and lovingly baked; the issue I have is with packaged lamb that smells nauseating as one cooks it in a pan. Besides, what’s with this ‘neck fillets’ business? I don’t need reminding that a little bleater had its neck taken apart and diced up to be put in a plastic tray. The only thing I can think of doing with it is smothering it in massaman curry so you can’t taste it. H & P will eat it regardless.

    And I have just this second removed some banana and cranberry muffins from the oven. They taste … quite good. Only 36 bananas to go.

  3. You could freeze them. Isn’t there some subsection of Australian culture that freezes bananas, then chops them up and eats them? (Along with the loonies who smoosh them into their bread … now that’s just disturbing …)

  4. Here’s recipe for banana ice cream. Not that it’s the best time of year for you guys. But you know.

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